


Tax Haven

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-02-06
Updated: 2003-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:09:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Accounting 1 - Clark Kent 0<br/>Written for Celli's taxfic challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tax Haven

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Caro, who accepted to beta this. Caro, you rock and this sombrero is for you. _g_. Written mostly for Celli, because she rocks too and I'm just so lucky I've met her! 

## Tax Haven

by Melo

<http://melo_l.livejournal.com>

* * *

Disclaimer: If I owned them, they'd be doing more dirty things. Where I could watch. Feedback: as always, the best thing to wake up to in the morning. 

* * *

"Make sure you have the first three chapters read by next week. It's a run down of the basics that you'll use for the whole course, so I'll advise you to make sure you really understand every concept before next class. Have a nice week." 

He should have known journalism was a bad idea. Surely he could have had more fun being, say, a ballet dancer or an anthropologist or something. Though tutu--ok, so not ballet dancer. Sailor maybe. Anything. 

He hadn't expected that. Journalism, up until yesterday that is, was this investigating, plot-thwarting, let's-nail-LuthorCorp job that would one day propel him straight up to the front page of the Daily Planet. But somehow when he wasn't looking, it had morphed into a knowledge monster, a you-have-to-know-what-you're-talking-about-first thing that wasn't really that exciting anymore. Hence strategy classes. Hence management classes. Hence... Accounting. 

Journalism was a nightmare. 

* * *

At first, the library had really seemed to be the ideal place to study. Lots of space, huge windows, light, lots of business majors he could ask for pointers if need be. Only it wasn't. The business section was crowded, noisy, and obviously more of a checking out people place than anything else. The people were so loud he wondered briefly how they could get anything done. Only of course, they weren't there to get anything done. His X-ray vision provided him with visions of things going on between book racks that he was sure Pete would be part of in not too long a time. Or would wish to be. 

The Anthropology section looked better; well, bound to have less accounting experts wandering around, but at least the place was quiet, which was already a major improvement. Only sitting there had to be a secret code. Or maybe his accounting books were giving off the wrong signals, but there had to be a reason for all these people to suddenly come at him and propose--things. Between book racks things. Even his best "leave me alone I'm trying to concentrate" vibes he had perfected from watching Lex for years had lost their convincing power, and he was running out of polite ways to tell people he wasn't interested. Especially since "no, sorry I have work to do" appeared to mean "sure, come and sit by me" when you were at college. 

Not answering people wasn't a solution either, however high his hopes were that maybe they'd think he was an exchange student who couldn't be bothered to speak English and leave him alone. Being silent only seemed to make them more eager to talk to him, and people sitting on top of his accounting textbook trying to teach him dirty English words was definitely _not_ the best way to get work done. The line was drawn, though, when he felt one of the girls try to do things with her foot that had to be forbidden in several states, if not by Federal law. His face felt suddenly so red he was sure he was past the beet stage, and he stood up abruptly, muttering something he was sure sounded French and rude, before practically running out of the library. It was all he could do not to super speed. 

Accounting 1 - Clark Kent 0. 

Time for the back up plan. 

"Lex, mind if I come over?" 

* * *

This was worse than the library. And he should have known really, because Lex was brilliant but he had no patience and Clark should have anticipated this dammit. But instead he was confined here, in Lex study, and he swore to God that if Lex said one more time that accounting was just about basic arithmetic, he'd jump out of the window. And it didn't matter that he could fly. And damn superpowers for making whining sound so petty. 

"See, Clark, accounting is just like arithmetic." 

Grr. Suddenly throwing _Lex_ out of the window sounded much more appealing. Then he could jump too and miraculously save him. And have hot-adrenaline-induced sex. Yeah. 

"You need a good grasp of accounting basics, but really, it's simple. I don't really see what you don't understand here." 

Yeah, hot sex, followed by hot shower. He wondered if Lex had shower sex in mind when he'd had that luxurious bay window built right in the shower stall. He always felt self-conscious when he showered there; he just couldn't get used to the idea of not having to worry about peeking neighbors on the 120th floor. The lights were nice at night though. 

"So we'll start with the why again. The goal here is to assess where your firm stands, and what its weaknesses are from a financial point of view. Right, Clark?" 

"Yeah." 

Hot shower because no matter how many times he'd seen Lex naked, there was something about his skin that Clark wasn't sure he could ever get enough of. He'd always thought Lex would be somehow more fragile when naked, more accessible, a weird idea born from his bald-obsessed brain, but if anything Lex was even more magnetic then. Sometimes it felt that Lex was just this giant fridge and Clark a fridge magnet. The strong ones that you just had to leave there after a while, as you couldn't pry them off anymore. 

"Then you can have two different ways of reporting revenues and expenditures in the financial statement, depending on your definition of the terms. Still with me?" 

"Uh, uh." 

Then some more sex in the bed. The only bed in which Clark could stretch out totally, and the stretch was the surest way to get feral Lex out to play. The pounce-on-Clark effect was almost theory in its regularity, and this was something he'd tested many times. You could never be too sure, with science. And if there was one lecture he remembered, it was the one on empirics. 

"If your definition of expenditures and revenues is strictly from a cash-flow level, then you're on a cash basis. Meaning you record your revenues when you receive them, and your expenditures when monies are paid. It's really the most elementary form of accounting, and the one most used by small firms or individuals. If you want examples..." 

Then a full night here, because he was tired of his cramped little dorm bed, and of his stupid roommate who did nothing but smoke joints all day and pretended to look innocent when Clark complained that his clothes smelled like he'd just returned from Amsterdam. The same roommate who was also very well acquainted with his right hand, and whose idea of discretion was just to turn off the light. It didn't work quite as well in broad daylight. 

"Also this system makes the work of the financial controllers easier, as there's no provision to make, and this is really..." 

Beside he liked sleeping with Lex. It was like having his favorite toy there for the taking, only you still had your homework to do, and the anticipation of it had been enough to make Clark stay awake all night in the beginning, just waiting to play. Lex, in his sleep, had this tendency to cuddle that he tried very hard to refrain from when awake, and Clark liked the way they fit together, spooned. He once told Lex that they must have been made in the same mold, but the look on Lex face was enough for him to let go of this theory. Or at least not to voice it out loud. 

"Of course you have sophistications even with this system, mainly to incorporate modifications in the way you interpret some transactions. Basically it allows you to report some transactions in a different system, but it's not really fun to play with and..." 

Waking up with Lex was also a definitive perk. Clark was usually the first to awake and he'd found that annoying at first, before he discovered that Lex liked to be woken up. Usually in ways that involved lots of tongue. The first time he'd tried, sliding down the bed till he was close enough to take a tentative lick, Lex had bucked up in a very exorcist-channeling way before grabbing Clark's hair to force his head down again, chanting his name like he'd just turned Buddhist and discovered a new mantra. 

Or maybe Fuck had been the mantra and Clark had been the new God. He'd never been too sure about that one. 

"Then there's another method and this is where the fun starts really. You change your definitions, meaning you don't consider the cash flow anymore, but rather the moment the expenditure or revenue is recognized. It allows for more transparency in a way, even if it complicates the work of the financial controllers, and you can really _do_ things with this method that..." 

What he liked best though, in a perfectly selfish way, was when Lex woke up before him. There was something about waking up to see Lex's lips stretched around his cock that had embarrassed him the first time, as he'd been too caught in the visual to really enjoy the feeling of it before exploding in Lex's mouth. Lex had assured him it was the best compliment, and it must have been right if the kiss that followed had been a good indicator. 

"Take me for instance, this is the kind of accounting I use for LexCorp, as it allows us to save huge amounts of money in taxes by reporting expenditures early. I have an example here, just to show you..." 

Yeah, Lex's lips should be labeled as lethal weapons, or at least come with warnings. There was something about his scar that made Clark hot just by looking at it, and some words actually brought about a quasi-Pavlovian reaction, a mix of pouncing and superspeed that usually left interesting shred patterns on their clothes. Lex had even seen an opportunity for business in them, but it would have been wrong to call this designer clothing. Even though he'd been assured no one would see the difference. 

"If you look at this sheet you can see the list of all LexCorp acquisitions, and it's reported here for this fiscal year even though some of them won't be delivered until the next one, and this is..." 

And they were innocuous words too, like sombrero, like process, and maybe it had something to do with the way Lex's scar twisted on the syllables, or maybe it was the "r". At one point he thought it was an alien thing until Chloe confirmed once that hearing Wally say speed had the same effect on her. Minus the shredding. 

"And this is really the beauty of the accrual system..." 

Oh god. 

"See, because accrual accounting allows for more... Clark?... Clark, why are... Oh god." 

* * *

"So, accrual?" 

Clark felt more sated than he'd ever been, but just hearing the word made his cock try to twitch. Another one for the to-be-avoided-at-all costs list. There were clothes everywhere, or rather bits of clothes, and really, he should have known better than to wear his favorite pair of jeans before coming here. 

"Huh, huh." 

Lex propped himself on his elbow, and Clark couldn't help reaching out for another kiss, the kind he liked best, tiny nips on Lex's lower lips that spoke of tenderness and love. But even kissing was too demanding after that afternoon and he fell back on his back, Lex smiling at him, and Clark thought accounting could very well become his favorite class, if it granted him private lessons like that every week. 

"You're lucky you only have to take the 101 class then." 

"Not if I fail. If I fail you'll have to explain it all over again." 

"Clark, I've covered far more than the 101 program with you this afternoon. I don't think you'll have to worry about failing this one." 

"Oh." And this was to be a good thing, of course. Or would if he could remember something of that lecture. 

"You did understand that last time, right?" 

"Uh, yes?" 

"Clark..." 

"I might have gotten--distracted." 

"Distracted? Clark, do you have any idea how many meetings I had to reschedule to fit you in this afternoon?" Funny how Lex could look like he was pacing even while he was lying down. "And you didn't even listen? It may not have hit you yet, but LexCorp does not prosper by magic. I can't spend all my afternoons playing tax nanny with you." 

Tax nanny? Tax _nanny_? "Oh. Then don't worry, I suppose I'll be able to find helpful people at the library. Some of them seemed very eager to help this afternoon. And had socks that felt real soft too." Take that, M. Nanny. 

"Socks that felt... What the fuck did you do in that library?" 

Clark smirked. "Study." 

"Study? And what were those people trying to help you with? Footsie technique?" Clark stifled a laugh and wondered if Lex knew how his entire head turned red when he was mad. 

"Well, that. And dirty words too. But I'm sure we would have come to talk about taxes too, in due time." 

"Clark..." 

"And have I mentioned book racks? Very interesting things going on there as well. I was even invited to participate, only it was more..." 

"You're never stepping into that library again." 

Clark laughed. "But see I still have this exam to pass, and..." 

"Fine, fine! I'll explain them to you, all right? But you'd better make sure to listen next time." 

Lex looked outraged, as if he couldn't believe he'd just gotten tricked into a whole semester of accounting tutoring, but Clark knew that he'd soon come to see the advantages of having to repeat accrual a whole semester. Or a year. Wondered if this could qualify as tax haven. He'd have to ask Lex, next time. 


End file.
